My maternal grandmother, Florence Winifred nee Hendy, ("Winifred") was born on October 20, 1882 in Brighton, England. She was very lovely with long hair. My older brother and I didn't meet her until we were about 9 and 7 years old respectively, when she and my grandfather, George Ernest Beausire Barnard, came to visit and a year or so later to live near us in Worthing, England. Prior to that they had been living in St. Lucia in the West Indies. Even in her later years Winifred had long hair below her waist. When she was younger it was long enough to sit on and she always kept it in braids, wound about her head. By the time I met her she had grey hair, but when she was a child it was blond, darkening to a light brown as she grew older. She had blue eyes and was about 5' 2 " tall.
She was a very happy woman, it seemed to me. Often laughing, somewhat plump, sedentary , gentle natured. Her father, William Hendy, born May 6, 1840 was a book publisher, who died a month after she was born on November 24, 1882, and her mother, Katherine Amelia (nee Holmes) born December 17, 1841, died on October 16, 1888, shortly after Winifred's 6th birthday. They both died of tuberculosis. At the time of her mother's death, Winifred's oldest sister, Helen, was 22 and Mildred, the next in age, was 18, and they cared for her after their mother's death and for the two boys, William, 17, and Charles, age 14, although the boys were away at boarding school. As sisters often can be they were quite strict with Winifred so that she never quite forgave them and they were never close, even as adults. Perhaps they resented having to act as parents to a small girl, particularly at an age when they would have been dating. Mildred never married but Helen did at the age of 28 when Winifred was 12 years old. Another possibility could have been jealousy since Winifred was the beauty of the family. At the age of 19 she was still living in Brighton, and working as a typist but shortly after that she got a job with the War Office in London, as a secretary. At some point she went to live with a grandmother and her slightly older cousin, Hilda.
She met her husband, George , born October 12, 1869, through Hilda. Hilda married George's brother, Arthur Alison Barnard on August 2, 1900 but the marriage lasted only long enough to produce one daughter, Pamela, born on May 20, 1907. Winifred's marriage to George on June 7, 1905 however, was long and happy, with seven children. Soon after their marriage they sailed to St. Lucia, where George owned coconut and banana plantations. Winifred never learned to keep house or cook, since George had multiple servants on his plantation and when they were in England others were either brought with them to houses they rented or hired locally. There were also nurses and governesses for the children, including a wonderful black nurse called "Da". Winifred did not breast feed any of her babies.
George was 13 years older than Winifred and as a young man was rather quick tempered and aggressive, but by the time he was in his late 70's he had mellowed. He had a lot of problems with cataract and was almost blind, wearing an eye patch over one eye. The cataract started to develop quite early (in his late 40's) and at one point he sailed to Canada for treatment. He liked to have his nails very long which I considered effeminate but of which he was quite proud, and I would nag at him to let me cut them. He would eventually relent, allowing me to cut all but the little fingernail on each hand !
My mother has dreadful stories of him horsewhipping the four oldest children, including her, but by the time the 3 youngest boys were born he had changed. She has scars on her back from the whips and even when she was grown she avoided much in the way of conversation with him. She and her next born sibling, Hugh, were the ones who received the most punishment. My mother was very strong willed, disobedient and difficult but Hugh was a sensitive child and suffered most from the harsh treatment. Winifred was not without blame in the matter though, since she would report the children's misdemeanors to their father and request that he punish them. During one of their visits to England, while the family was living in a rented house someone reported suspected child abuse to the local authorities and there was an investigation, but nothing was proved.
After their retirement to Worthing in 1950, George and Winifred resided in a guest house run by an older couple and their daughter, Gwen. There were other guests in the house and meals were provided. Both George and Winfred developed diabetes and heart problems during this time, probably from the rather poor diet, since they were fed a lot of starch and sweet desserts. One dessert that Gwen loved to make was called "lardy cake", which she would share with us too. You can just imagine the ingredients !!! They both gained too much weight. Occasionally my grandmother would take my mother, brother and I out to afternoon tea at the local tea shops where we would order hot tea and hot buttered toast (usually slightly burned since there were no toasters). A little pot of jam would accompany the toast and then the waitress would bring round a plate with a variety of small pastries and cakes and we were allowed to choose one each. Never more ! This used to bother me, since eating out was a particular treat and I didn't think it was very fair. I never said anything though since English children are (or were in those days) raised to be very polite !! I believe now that my grandfather although quite wealthy, was very careful with money and kept my grandmother on a tight rein.
My grandfather died at the age of 82 on May 12, 1952 of heart problems. He was in a private nursing home after he became ill and the nurses commented on the marvelous physique he had for his age. Large death duties (taxes) had to be paid from his estate, and my grandmother died at the age of 72 on May 5, 1954 - almost two years after his death, and just long enough after that more death duties were payable. The taxes almost wiped out my grandparents carefully conserved money, leaving almost nothing but the plantations in the Caribbean which had previously been turned into a limited company, divided between the seven children.
After my grandfather died I recall my grandmother trying not to laugh at things she found funny, since she felt it was not suitable for a new widow. I remember her in gales of laughter, saying to my mother, "Oh, Lesley, don't." It probably did her a great deal of good to laugh. She had a very good sense of smell and one day when she was at our house for a visit she kept complaining that she smelled apple (which she hated). My mother assured her that there was no apple in the room, but later realized there was a small piece in the canary's birdcage.
Winifred often commented that she was forever 'waiting' for others or some event to occur, and felt that this was a punishment for past life sins ! She loved to do crosswords from the Sunday Times newspaper, and was very good at them. She was terribly affected by the heat in the Caribbean and was miserable living there. Educated women in those days were expected to wear long dresses and sleeves regardless of the weather, so I am not surprised. My mother recalls her forever complaining about the heat, sitting fanning herself and sending the children away to be cared for by servants. The plantations were also quite isolated and my grandmother loved to shop. Fortunately there were occasional visits to England, by sea, which helped in that regard.
She was very much loved by her children, and especially by my mother.
(c) Elizabeth Donnell March 10, 2010
She was a very happy woman, it seemed to me. Often laughing, somewhat plump, sedentary , gentle natured. Her father, William Hendy, born May 6, 1840 was a book publisher, who died a month after she was born on November 24, 1882, and her mother, Katherine Amelia (nee Holmes) born December 17, 1841, died on October 16, 1888, shortly after Winifred's 6th birthday. They both died of tuberculosis. At the time of her mother's death, Winifred's oldest sister, Helen, was 22 and Mildred, the next in age, was 18, and they cared for her after their mother's death and for the two boys, William, 17, and Charles, age 14, although the boys were away at boarding school. As sisters often can be they were quite strict with Winifred so that she never quite forgave them and they were never close, even as adults. Perhaps they resented having to act as parents to a small girl, particularly at an age when they would have been dating. Mildred never married but Helen did at the age of 28 when Winifred was 12 years old. Another possibility could have been jealousy since Winifred was the beauty of the family. At the age of 19 she was still living in Brighton, and working as a typist but shortly after that she got a job with the War Office in London, as a secretary. At some point she went to live with a grandmother and her slightly older cousin, Hilda.
She met her husband, George , born October 12, 1869, through Hilda. Hilda married George's brother, Arthur Alison Barnard on August 2, 1900 but the marriage lasted only long enough to produce one daughter, Pamela, born on May 20, 1907. Winifred's marriage to George on June 7, 1905 however, was long and happy, with seven children. Soon after their marriage they sailed to St. Lucia, where George owned coconut and banana plantations. Winifred never learned to keep house or cook, since George had multiple servants on his plantation and when they were in England others were either brought with them to houses they rented or hired locally. There were also nurses and governesses for the children, including a wonderful black nurse called "Da". Winifred did not breast feed any of her babies.
George was 13 years older than Winifred and as a young man was rather quick tempered and aggressive, but by the time he was in his late 70's he had mellowed. He had a lot of problems with cataract and was almost blind, wearing an eye patch over one eye. The cataract started to develop quite early (in his late 40's) and at one point he sailed to Canada for treatment. He liked to have his nails very long which I considered effeminate but of which he was quite proud, and I would nag at him to let me cut them. He would eventually relent, allowing me to cut all but the little fingernail on each hand !
My mother has dreadful stories of him horsewhipping the four oldest children, including her, but by the time the 3 youngest boys were born he had changed. She has scars on her back from the whips and even when she was grown she avoided much in the way of conversation with him. She and her next born sibling, Hugh, were the ones who received the most punishment. My mother was very strong willed, disobedient and difficult but Hugh was a sensitive child and suffered most from the harsh treatment. Winifred was not without blame in the matter though, since she would report the children's misdemeanors to their father and request that he punish them. During one of their visits to England, while the family was living in a rented house someone reported suspected child abuse to the local authorities and there was an investigation, but nothing was proved.
After their retirement to Worthing in 1950, George and Winifred resided in a guest house run by an older couple and their daughter, Gwen. There were other guests in the house and meals were provided. Both George and Winfred developed diabetes and heart problems during this time, probably from the rather poor diet, since they were fed a lot of starch and sweet desserts. One dessert that Gwen loved to make was called "lardy cake", which she would share with us too. You can just imagine the ingredients !!! They both gained too much weight. Occasionally my grandmother would take my mother, brother and I out to afternoon tea at the local tea shops where we would order hot tea and hot buttered toast (usually slightly burned since there were no toasters). A little pot of jam would accompany the toast and then the waitress would bring round a plate with a variety of small pastries and cakes and we were allowed to choose one each. Never more ! This used to bother me, since eating out was a particular treat and I didn't think it was very fair. I never said anything though since English children are (or were in those days) raised to be very polite !! I believe now that my grandfather although quite wealthy, was very careful with money and kept my grandmother on a tight rein.
My grandfather died at the age of 82 on May 12, 1952 of heart problems. He was in a private nursing home after he became ill and the nurses commented on the marvelous physique he had for his age. Large death duties (taxes) had to be paid from his estate, and my grandmother died at the age of 72 on May 5, 1954 - almost two years after his death, and just long enough after that more death duties were payable. The taxes almost wiped out my grandparents carefully conserved money, leaving almost nothing but the plantations in the Caribbean which had previously been turned into a limited company, divided between the seven children.
After my grandfather died I recall my grandmother trying not to laugh at things she found funny, since she felt it was not suitable for a new widow. I remember her in gales of laughter, saying to my mother, "Oh, Lesley, don't." It probably did her a great deal of good to laugh. She had a very good sense of smell and one day when she was at our house for a visit she kept complaining that she smelled apple (which she hated). My mother assured her that there was no apple in the room, but later realized there was a small piece in the canary's birdcage.
Winifred often commented that she was forever 'waiting' for others or some event to occur, and felt that this was a punishment for past life sins ! She loved to do crosswords from the Sunday Times newspaper, and was very good at them. She was terribly affected by the heat in the Caribbean and was miserable living there. Educated women in those days were expected to wear long dresses and sleeves regardless of the weather, so I am not surprised. My mother recalls her forever complaining about the heat, sitting fanning herself and sending the children away to be cared for by servants. The plantations were also quite isolated and my grandmother loved to shop. Fortunately there were occasional visits to England, by sea, which helped in that regard.
She was very much loved by her children, and especially by my mother.
(c) Elizabeth Donnell March 10, 2010
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